Sunday, November 11, 2012

Don't say you weren't warned

A warning to everyone-
If you give a group of ten-year-olds a writing assignment, and the subject of the writing assignment is you, and you give them free license and creativity, you might have some very interesting ideas and thoughts shared.
Just sayin.

So, this post has been in draft form for, well, a month and a day.  But considering it was 70 some degrees today, I think I can still pull off a post about fall.  I also think something light and funny should be on the docket to start this week off.

I spent a lovely evening with my dad several weeks ago.  The events of the evening included me harvesting the last remnant of the corn crop, which he had saved for me.  We then proceeded to have a very lovely dinner together, just us, as my mom wasn't home that night.  What did we dine on?  Pizza and beer, of course.

Anyways, many of my students are fascinated with my farm background, and all of them are essentially city kids, so before we closed up the shop, I grabbed a couple of ears of corn and my dad filled an old coffee can from the hopper so I could do a little show & tell.

The unlabeled coffee can full of corn evolved into a creative writing assignment in my head by the next morning.  I told my kids that I had an interesting evening the night before, and they had to write me a letter about what I had done.  (We had been working on letter writing.) However, the only hint they got about my night was the coffee can.  At first, they could only gently pick it up. Then, I let them shake it.  Later, one student with closed eyes got to smell inside.  Another got to close his eyes and feel inside and share his observations.  Based on that information, I got some hysterical letters guessing what I had done.  After the letters were composed, I opened up the coffee can, showed them the contents, and then told them that I had combined a corn field the night before.  Some added a P.S. to let me know what they thought about the truth.

Here are a few of my favorite contributions: (For the most part, I left incorrect spellings and awful grammar for you to get the full feel of the writing.  Be assured that I don't condone it :) My comments are in blue.)

There in that bucket thing, I think there are marbles with your Grandpa.  I couldn't with my Grandpa.  Maybe my Grandma, but not my Grandpa he's grumpy.  You got one hour of sleep because you are Miss Bogner and you said you don't get a lot of sleep.  P.S. My grandpa is crazy.  You are not there yet. Oh, good.  Not crazy. Yet. Check.

I think you need to put down the can and act like yourself.
  Well excuse me for having a little fun.  Let's get back to our normal boring selves, shall we.

I think you robbered people of their teeth and robbered coin banks and made teeth coin necklaces and dipped them in mud and sold them on ebay.
But the mud just makes the pieces.  Don't judge.

I really think you should be a tooth fairy.  That might be fairly fabulous.

I think you ate jelly beans, graded homework, and counted your collection of marbles. Living the life.  That's me.

I think you are Mother Nature and you beat up Jack Frost. I totally could.

P.S. I was way way off!  And it is really cool that you drove a combine.  Thank you.  Anything to elevate my coolness factor.  With ten-year-olds.

Last night I saw you in your house through the security cameras I have in your house. (Long story- I have placed them in the houses of everyone I know)
  WHAT!  Someone needs to tell this kid that this is not funny...oh, wait, maybe that someone is me.

Or you are a cat burglar.  That's right, you stole a bunch of dirty cat toys. Oh goodness.  But Mr. Whiskers needed them!

Or maybe you are going to make beans as a midnight snack but you droped them on the way from your car, they roald down the road and hit your neibor in the head, causin amnishia.  Then you sued the bean company for 5 million bucks but they gave it to you in pennys and you put it in the coffy can. Yes.  How did you know!  That's me.  Causin amnishia.

P.S. I did not see that coming. It was a real nail biter.

(After guessing that I was a candy thief)- P.S. I was way off.  But you will leave me candy, right? Yes, it is my calling in life.  Sugar you up, and send you home.

P.S. You are weird.  Really.  Wow, you drove a combine? Yes.  It was a required class in my teacher education program.  I took it the same semester that I had Repairing Random School Machinery 212 and my Growing Eyes in the Back of Your Head lab course.

P.S. I know where you live. What!
P.S.S. I think driving a combine would be fun.  What do you wear to do that? Because, after all, it is all about the clothes.

Here is to the start of a new work week that makes you laugh and think outside of the!

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