Open Heart, Open Home: The Hostess & Hospitality {Guest Post}

Today I have the honor of hosting the lovely words of my lovely friend Shirley.  Shirley couldn't have chosen a better title for her guest post- her open home is an outward extension of her open heart and kind compassion for those she meets.  It has been a privilege to be welcomed into Shirley's home for dinner parties and celebrations, and I could think of no one better to write about the art of food and hospitality.  I hope her thoughts inspire you to think of your table as a place of ministry and your home as an opportunity to better love the souls in your life. 

Open Heart, Open Home: The Hostess & Hospitality

I’m the type of person that tends to have a myriad of soapbox topics and things I like to speak passionately about, but none so much as the philosophy behind the meal, communion shared while eating and “our daily bread.” While I could probably write a whole book on the topic, here I will share some thoughts on why the details of your next dinner party are worth making beautiful.

I love to create nourishing, delicious, beautiful food and warm, inviting spaces. It’s my art. I’m sure there are plenty people out there who like to “wing it” and clean out the fridge when they are having people over for dinner. Those are wonderful people, but I am certainly not one of them. For me, having people to my home is an experience. I prepare for their visit with extensive planning, prepping, and cleaning. This time spent, very literally, becomes an act of love for the person or persons who will dine with me later in the evening. Most of the dinner parties I have hosted have themes and several courses. I’m often chided for going over the top, but I wouldn’t know any other way. It is the way I pour out my heart. Here’s where we dive a little deeper. Edith Stein, amazing Catholic saint and philosopher, wrote this about the soul of a woman:

“Women must become broad, tranquil, emptied of self, warm and transparent. Only hearts that are emptied and silent can be penetrated by grace, with its power to form women into the loving persons they are intended to be.”

“What does this have to do with hosting a dinner party?” you ask. Well, seemingly nothing. But if we look a little closer, it’s obvious. Women have been created in a particular way to nourish and nurture life. The disposition of our hearts, as described above, should be a warm place where all are welcome and feel loved. That is the “genius” of the feminine (see more on that here). This should also be the environment of our homes insomuch as we can make them. When we are literally welcoming people to our homes to nurture them in friendship and nourish them with food, we see an even closer connection between the spiritual and physical aspects of hospitality. I imagine the home at Nazareth had this feel to it. Our Lady made it so. Opening my home has also given me the opportunity to grow in virtue over the years. The purity of my intention to serve the other, and not my own ego, has been refined. I think this is what Edith Stein means about emptying our hearts- everything we are is given to those we love and serve and it turn our hearts are open to receive whomever the Lord wills.

The interior disposition is so important to hosting, but so is the practical! Below are my top 3 tips for hosting an enriching evening (mostly learned through trial and error).

1. Don’t bite off more than you can chew (pun intended :) )

I’m definitely guilty of getting in trouble when I try too many complicated or intricate recipes at once without adequate time to pull them off. So, start small. Fewer courses done well are more impressive than trying too hard and having aspects of your evening flop. I’m speaking from experience here! Also, a sweaty, flustered hostess is never attractive (again, experience!). Simplicity is beautiful. I’ve had to learn this and I’m still learning.

2. Setting the Stage: Atmosphere is Key

A warm, inviting atmosphere needs to be created. Key players: soft lighting, candles, and background music. The overall aesthetics of my home are something I work on all the time to have beauty to look at everyday, but also to bring joy to visitors. I give extra attention to the set up of the table: fresh flowers in a mason jar centerpiece, set silverware and cloth napkins are all a nice touch. Creating an atmosphere of welcome can begin as soon as your guest arrives by greeting them at the door, taking their coat, asking if they need a drink and making sure they know where to go to join the party. Your guests are immediately at ease and ready to enter into the evening by those simple gestures.

3. Sometimes, less is more

Sometimes my hosting philosophy is: the more the merrier but more often than not these days, it is less is more. It’s not that I don’t want more people to be able to come to my house, but it’s important that you use the space you have well. Try not to crowd the space you have and accommodate additions comfortably. Also it can be prudent to have less people to facilitate more quality conversation and real relationships. Having less people at each dinner party allows for more dinner parties overall! Win, win!

  

You may be wondering whom to invite to your next party. Who’s worthy of all this trouble? My humble suggestion: Your priest. I’ve not enjoyed hosting or cooking for anyone more than our beloved shepherds. They are so appreciative of home cooked meals and it is an honor to have them dine with you and your family and friends. I have been incredibly blessed by each Father who has broken bread at my table and God willing there will be many more! But you don’t have to take my word for it. St. Margaret Clitherow gave her life for this very act at a time in English history when being a Catholic priest or having them in your home was a capital crime. St. Margaret is a great witness to the sacrifice of hospitality. (You can read more about her incredible story here).

Over the years, it’s been beautiful to see how this way of loving has been received. Having dinner parties in my home has been as much of a ministry to me as it has been to the other. When a person is welcomed into such a space and fed body and soul- they relax, laughter abounds, friendships deepen, and joy ensues. 

Bon appétit!

P.S.- Shirley is the cutest- when the Pope was here in the fall, she shared this grand wish:

The whole time the Pope has been here all I can think is, I wish I could cook him dinner! I want to feed him (and make him some strong coffee!) A grand Babette's Feast (modeled after his favorite movie, of course). If anyone has connections, let me know. My dream would look something like this... 

I only hope that I could garner an invite and would be sitting on the other side of that table, enjoying Shirley's warm welcome and delicious food. :)

 You can follow along with Shirley over on Instagram, where she chronicles beauty in the everyday, celebrates her success with Whole30, and posts the best food pics ever. :)

Shirley's lovely contribution is part of this year's Why Make Beautiful Things series.  If you are curious, you can go back and read the posts from last year here.  Make sure you come back for three more unique posts this week (Betsy on making old things new) and beautiful things giveaway on Friday!

Good To Me {September 11th, Sandy Hook, and Fear as a Teacher}

This is actually a repost from exactly two years ago.  I try not to recycle topics too often, but when I reread this recently, it the emotions and struggles struck me all over again.  There are a lot of hard, hard things happening in the world that of course trickle over into our schools.  Going through the procedures for a possible school intruder are now a part of our normal routines, just like fire and tornado drills. It isn't getting easier to be at the front of my classroom- the weight of the responsibility is something I have been made more aware of each new day.  All over again, it makes me so grateful for the hope we have in Christ at that I am in a teaching position where He can be the answer to all of our fears.

Today, I had to explain to 21 ten and eleven-year-olds what September 11th was.
A day that is forever imprinted in my memory happened before they were even born.

But after listening to this Presidential Proclamation over morning announcements at the beginning of the school day, I was surprised with, "Miss Bogner, what's September 11th?"  Amazingly, while a few students knew (or thought they knew) something about the events of 9/11/2001, many had only heard the date thrown around as the name of an event out of context to their lives and understanding. 

How do you talk to kids about such a tragedy?  How do you honor the sacrifices made without delving into darkness with ones too young to deserve a loss of innocence?  How do you tell the history without frightening them about the future?

It didn't help that memories and emotions I didn't expect came rolling over me as I listened to the proclamation and then tried to explain what had happened and why we need to remember.

The best that I could do?  I compared it to why we learn about the atrocities of WWII and the Holocaust.  "So you know that life is valuable, so that you know what happened in the past when people chose death instead, and so you can be the one to make sure it never happens again."

High walking orders for 5th graders.

It is interesting that last night I happened to read this article that has been floating around facebook.  Written as an open letter to teachers from the mother of a Sandy Hook victim, I cried through the whole thing.  When Sandy Hook happened, I avoided the media about it- switched off the TV, didn't scour the internet like most for survivor stories, changed the topic when friends wanted to talk about it.  I felt cold and unfeeling, but honestly, I couldn't handle it.  It is not that I was struck by fear that it could happen in my school, but more that you can't help living through a bit of that experience if you are a teacher.  A few days after the Sandy Hook massacre, I was on my prep period while my kids were at PE.  Sitting alone in my classroom, I glanced up at all of the empty desks, and started to cry.  I knew that my kids were safe, that they were just downstairs in the gym.  But I could help but think about a classroom of empty desks, and what it would be like if the students never came back to sit in them.  If even one was missing.  Something in the article that resounded with me was a statement by a teacher who went back after the shooting.  She said she did it because "They are my kids."  It is so true.  They may annoy me, challenge me, work me to death, disobey me, try my patience, and make my day difficult, but they are still my kids.  I would die for them, and that makes it even harder to talk about Sandy Hook, September 11th, and other times when life has been discarded like it means nothing.

And where was God in all of this, you may be thinking?  Now that I am at a Catholic School I don't have to talk around or avoid the real things that kids need to hear on a day like today.

They need to know that they can pray.  They can pray for the victims.  For the survivors.  For the sad souls whose actions hurt others.

They need to know that they can go to God in their fear.  They can be honest with Him about their feelings.  That they can put their trust in Him and know that He will carry them through any situation.

They need to know that they have adults who care about them and that they can talk to them about tragedy.  That there are good people who will always put them first, like their moms and dads and teachers, as well as people they don't know whose job it is to protect them.  Knowing that my brothers-in-law Steven and Luke, a firefighter and soldier respectively, have chosen to put their lives on the line for perfect strangers makes me love them more and reminds me of the selflessness of so many who strive to counteract evil working in the hearts of men.

And they need to know that God is good.  All the time.  God is good, no matter what the world around us is shouting, no matter what they see on the news, no matter the situation surrounding them.

So this song has been sticking with me lately.

"I steady my heart on the ground of your goodness.  When I'm bowed down with sorrow, I will lift up your name, and the foxes in the vineyard will not steal my joy, because you are good to me."

You can get this song (and a gorgeous version of Come Thou Fount) free right now on Noise Trade.   (Still there two years later!) And/or you can get Audrey's new album, too.  Your heart won't regret it.

"Surely your goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." ~Psalm 23:6

Love Is the Beauty of the Soul~ Guest Post

Today's post was written by my youngest sister Emily, who is lovely, talented, and generous, lives about 1000 miles too far away from me, and blogs too sporadically at The Only True Adventure. I'm so excited to share her thoughts with you today as part of my Why Make Beautiful Things series!

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Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul. 

~St. Augustine

Beauty can be found everywhere, even in unexpected places.

I have found myself in many unexpected places over the course of the last couple of years. Marrying a military man will do that to the plans you have for your life.

Growing up on a farm, home was always a steady comfort. Farms can’t up and move one day to the next, and so I had the beautiful childhood most only dream of right in the same house that my parents brought me home to from the hospital. Fireflies in the summer, sledding in the winter. Familiar quirks of an over century-old farm house were wonderfully predicable (top stair on the 2^nd floor squeaks if you don’t want to wake dad up). Our house was always there to welcome me home when I returned.

When Luke and I got married, I knew that for the first time “home” was going to become a fluid term, and one that was certainly not on my terms. You know the old adage, “Home is where the heart is.” Well, we have our own – “Home is where the Army sends us.” Within the first ten months of marriage, I moved twice and Luke moved three times.  We have lived along the southwest edge of the Chattahoochee River in Georgia and now at the base of the Front Range Rockies in Colorado. Both very different, both beautiful in their own way.

For each new station, we have chosen to live on post in military quarters. Army housing is probably better than what you’d imagine it to be, but it’s a far cry from HGTV’s standards. White walls, tile floor, and a cookie-cutter layout make creativity a necessity if you don’t want to accidentally walk into your neighbor’s house and make yourself a cup of tea before you realize your mistake. For this reason, I have tried my best to make our house feel like “home,” even if it’s only home for a few short years. 

In bachelorhood, Luke had a bunk bed, hand-me-down desk, and a duffle bag worth of civilian clothes to his name. I’m pretty sure he thought I was crazy when I suggested that we needed more than a folding table for our dining room set, let alone hanging hand-painted creations on the walls. But with time and the patience that only newlyweds can hold for one another, we have arranged and rearranged, bought everything from couches to coffee cups, and drilled into drywall like we owned the place. Luke is actually more surprised when he comes home from a few weeks in the field if I haven’t moved furniture or hung something new. It’s an ever-developing process. 

Now, with my new home set up, I only had to sit back and wait for the friends to fill it. There have been times where that wait has been longer than others, but the friends I have made have always seemed to be worth the wait. I have met some amazing ladies and their families on this military adventure, who have taught me what true sacrifice, love, and compassion look like every day.

Before I became a military spouse, I always felt like home was where you could escape from the world (and spend the day in pajamas, of course). There are some days I still feel that way, but more and more, I am seeing how beautiful it is to open up your home to others.  When you bring someone into your home, it’s an invitation into your life, the sacred space you share with the ones you love most in the world. It is the literal doorway to new, intimate friendships. 

The friendships I have made within this community are unlike any other. If military spouses know one thing, it’s the need to reach out to others. All of us have been new in town before, and have needed to build life from the ground up, including our homes and friendships. When our parents and siblings are often times far away, we quite literally become family to one another– we trade babysitting for coffee dates, bring over dinner for when the day has been too long, and have each other on speed dial for good or bad news alike. Most of these relationships started with a simple invitation into our homes - to coffee, dinner, or for a plate of brownies in a gesture of welcome.  

Having a beautiful home does not always mean filling your walls with DIY projects or the latest magazine trends. I’ve found there is a lot of beauty in having friendships where the sink full of dishes and baskets of laundry on the couch don’t hinder inviting people over. Never be afraid to bring someone into your “mess” – it’s your life! When I feel like my house is too messy for company, I always remind myself that if I dropped by to see a friend in her home, I wouldn’t care if the floors had been swept or not. I’m just happy she’s hosting me! Hospitality comes in many forms, and is always a true gift we can give to one another.

Creating a home that is warm and welcoming is an attitude of the heart. Our physical homes are merely the manifestations of the hospitality that first starts within us. Through my journey as a newlywed military wife, I have redefined what home means to me. From that experience, I know that the beauty of hospitality that I see in others and the beauty I want them to see in me should be rooted not in location, but in love.

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Emily's post is part of my Why Make Beautiful Things week.
-Read my thoughts on the seven reasons why making things beautiful matters here.
-Visit this post to see pictures of the beautiful and fun vintage dresses (which used to belong to my Granny!) that I have been wearing this spring.
-Friday, Steph will write about the importance of taking, printing, and displaying beautiful family photos.
-AND on Sunday, I'll be hosting a special giveaway with seven beautiful items that I know you are going to love from Kayla Phillips Design, Steph Zimmerman Photography, and [un]common workbasket.  You don't want to miss it!

Student Created Book Ideas

This year, I tried a different technique for encouraging student narrative writing.  We created a cohesive project over the last few months of the school year, building and refining skills found in the Six Traits of Writing.  We also created an art project for each writing sample.  At the end of the year, I wanted each student to have a special keepsake showcasing all of their hard work, as well as a memento reflecting on the topic we had been learning about- the challenge to "write God's story on our hearts."

Instead of just sending the work home or simply creating a writing portfolio in a folder to keep, we decided to make a bound book for each student.  There is always something special about a finished project like this that makes it more meaningful for the students.

I wanted to be able to bind together the students' five essays and five art projects with a nice cover easily and more importantly, inexpensively.  We all know that school budgets are tight and teachers spend lots of their own money on classroom set up and supplies.  It was the end of the year, so I was even more determined to do this at no cost.

Fortunately for me, a lot of people know that I am a teacher, that I am pretty creative, and that I like to find new uses for old things.  This has led to many donations of old office supplies from people over the years, so I have a nice collection built up of random things that come in quite handy.

You may not have a handy closet of random office supplies, but I hope that the books from this post inspire you to find a creative way to bind a keepsake book of your students' or kids' writing or other work.  The sense of accomplishment that comes from "publishing" is important and can give them a goal to work toward with excellence.

A few ideas:

1. Have a student created cover.  We used computers for much of the typing aspect of the project, but I liked having their handwriting preserved on the front of their books.  They used markers, crayons, etc. and I provided both full sized and scraps of construction paper.

2.  Have each student create a Table of Contents.  Our books had an average of 15-20 pages each, so organization was an important step.  The contents page helped them present an organized finished project.

3.  Consider different methods of binding.  If you are only holding together a few pages, stapling along the spine of a collection works well enough.  We had too many pages for that, so we used a variety of random report covers I had been saving.  The kids got to pick what to use and then helped with the binding.  We used a three hole punch with moveable distance punches, allowing us to accommodate the various set ups for the report covers.  Occasionally, I had to use a single hole hand punch to get through a stubborn art project, but I was grateful for the three holed punch overall.

Some of the report covers I had opened landscape and others portrait, but they all worked.  Here is an example of one of the landscape books:

And here is the inside of a portrait style:

Both were easily bound with prong style fasteners to hold the paper in.  They created a very professional finish.  The covers on those books were just glued onto the outside of the folder, which wasn't as "clean" looking, but they still turned out ok.

We also used the clear cover report folders, which were not as fancy but still pulled everything together.  One problem with these was that they were meant for 8.5"x11" paper, but most of our art projects were on 9"x12" paper.  Most of the kids just let the edges hang off, but a few used a ruler and scissors to trim them before binding.

We also had some portfolios that had these neat closures, which really lent to a finished look.

The whole thing was an easy way to create a memorable final project and a keepsake for the kids.  Individual essays almost always get thrown away, but I am hoping that most of these books are held onto for a bit longer. :)


Here are a few more covers for you to enjoy:

For more info on the rest of this specific writing project:

For more info on the art projects that we created:

7QT: Little Bits of Alleluia

Alleluia!  Happy Easter!  I am still celebrating around here (and will be for about 45 more days!), so I thought I'd share a few of "little" ways the alleluia of Easter has been present in my week.

~1~

My itunes playlist has officially changed from my Lent collection to my Easter collection.  It is the best.

  ~2~

My table centerpiece is beautiful.

Fired Up painted pottery, on display for the first time, 

garage sale Scrabble pieces, always present but sharing their own alleluia, 

rummage sale linen and marble eggs.

 ~3~

I finally got to wear the lovely ivory lace dress my sister gave me for Christmas.  

I intentionally saved wearing it for Easter morning.

 ~4~

I opened this blueberry coffee after coming home from Mass Sunday morning.  Oh, my, word, it is delicious.  You should be wishing right now that your screen was scratch and sniff. 

~5~

Hung up some little Easter banners for a reminder of the season.

~6~

Sending out some Easter cards.

~7~

And reading some alleluia worthy words:

"He is not here, for He has risen as He said."

~Matthew 28:6

What have been the little bits of alleluia in your week?

Go visit Jen at Conversion Diary for more Seven Quick Takes!

Write Your Story on My Heart Narrative Project

If you are a homeschooler or Catholic school teacher (or even a Catechist), you know the tug of trying to give kids quality learning opportunities covering a breadth of topics in a limited amount of time.  Time.  There never seems to be enough of it in any kind of classroom.  Hence why cross-curricular teaching makes so much sense.  In college when I was assigned to create cross-curricular sample lessons, I sometimes felt like I was just putting two separate lessons on the same sheet of paper.  I have honed that skill quite a bit since then, and now see teaching more than one subject in the same lesson as both being practical and effective.

I am blessed to still have my 5th graders all day in my classroom, which gives me more flexibility than departmentalized teachers to teach across curriculum areas.  I am grateful for this chance, and would like to share something that we are working on in my classroom right now.

I spend a lot of time on the road, so music and good talks are necessary to keeping me sane while driving.  When I first heard this song on the radio this winter, I didn't really like it- it was a little "pop" for my usual tastes.  However, I didn't switch the station, and listened to the words, and got one of those A-HA moments. 

The song is about allowing God to reveal who He is through the everyday events of our lives, and to make His story our story.  It was catchy and meaningful and I knew that I could use it in the classroom.  We were about to branch into our narrative writing unit, and I knew that it would be pulling teeth.  I have been working hard with this group of kids to improve their writing skills, specifically using the 6 Traits of Writing to hone in on specific ways to become a strong writer.

I decide to wrap up the skills that go with the 6 Traits, the structure of narrative writing, and the idea behind this song in a unit that would allow the kids to express themselves and show how they see God working in their lives.  Writing & Religion, all in one.

I focused on this verse, explaining to the kids that to know our faith means to know who God is as well as who we are as His children:

“Keep my commandments and live, keep my teachings as the apple of your eye; 

bind them on your fingers, write them on the tablet of your heart.”

~Proverbs 7:2-3

I set the goal of writing five narratives in this unit, some longer and more involved, and some short. I came up with five topics that fit in the narrative category that would also allow the kids to explore their faith:

o   Seeing God in the Sacraments: Write about receiving a Sacrament or witnessing a Sacrament and how it helped you to see God.

o   Knowing God through His People: Write a story about a person who is/was important in your life and how they helped you to know God better.

o   Finding God in His Creation: Write a story about a time you spent in nature and how you see God’s creative power in the world.

o   Seeing God in the Hard Times: Write a story about something hard that has happened in your life and how God was there to help you.

o   Writing God’s Story on Your Heart: Write about knowing that Jesus is a part of your life.  You have lots of choice with this topic!

I created several graphic organizers to help with brainstorming and organization, as well as pages to take notes on dialogue, sensory details, main ideas, time order, and connections:

I also included the rubric that would be used to grade the essays:

Along with each narrative, the kids are creating some kind of visual element-an art project, a drawing, a photograph- to illustrate the essay.  I am keeping all of the different pieces, and when we finish in a couple of weeks, we will bind everything together so that each student has a book containing stories of their faith.  I think that it will be a cool keepsake as we wrap up their 5th grade year.

Click on the image below for a copy of the 12 page document with all of the ideas, instructions, graphic organizers, rubric, etc.

Click here if you would like a copy of my packet.  It is a bit messy, but it has filled in notes, suggestions, lists of brainstorming ideas for all of the topics, etc.  If you want to see how we used this packet to get the project rolling, you will want to look through this.

Coming soon, I will post ideas and examples of the art projects that we created for each of the narratives.  Happy writing!

***Update***
Click here for ideas for binding student books, which is how we "published" our project.
Click on the titles below for ideas for five Faith Filled Art Projects, all which match one of the topics in the Write Your Story on My Heart project.
1. Mixed Media Sacrament Art
2. Finding God in Nature Art
3. Word Cloud Art
4. Black Out Poetry Art
5. Finish the Picture Art