T-R-U-S-T

Trust is not spelled M-Y---W-A-Y.

It is not spelled N-O-W.

Neither is it spelled P-L-A-N---E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

Upon embarking on a year without a "plan," many people have asked me how I was going to manage financially.  I told them that I had saved, that I am working, and that I will be trusting.  Now this was not a blind-leap-of-faith trusting, (which God asks of us sometimes) but a prudent, follow-God's-lead-and-be-a-good-steward kind of trust.

I crunched numbers and looked at possibilities and prayed and decided to go for it.

But as a worrier, I also played the worst case scenario game.

• What if expenses that I had planned on go up?
• What if adding independent insurance coverage will cost more than I think?
• What if something I "need," like my trusty laptop, dies?
• And heaven forbid, what if something catastrophic happens, like my car breaks down beyond repair? (please hear some sarcasm in this statement...)

Surely all of those things wouldn't happen, right?
But, my laptop breathed its last.
And then my landlords raised my rent.
Independent insurance sucks.
And last week, I blew the transmission in my car.

As I sat stranded at a busy intersection in a car that would do nothing but roll, I rested my head on my steering wheel and decided that I had a few options.
1. Cry. I decided against this in case the tow truck driver ended up being cute and single.
2. Get out of my car and kick the piece of junk really hard. I decided against this because I might break my toe or scuff my cowboy boots, both of which would cost me money.
3. Hang out my window and curse and scream at all of the too-fast-drivers who were honking at my precarious location on the side of the road.  I decided against this because it wouldn't be very lady-like.

So, I left my head on my steering wheel and prayed.  The expense of a new car was not in my plan, but doubting God's providence at this point was not going to do me any good.  So I prayed, and calmed down, and while I waited for the tow truck, I picked up the baby blanket that I am crocheting which was sitting in a bag in the passenger seat.  For me, crocheting is very relaxing, and a great chance to focus and pray, stitch by stitch.  Usually I pray for the recipient of the crocheted item, but this time that was mixed in with some pleas for trust and forgiveness for my anger and doubt. (BTW, I wish I had pictures of some of the looks that I got from passersby--- car, parked on side of road, busy intersection, flashers on, girl...crocheting.  I just wanted to yell after them- "Haven't you ever just needed a little craft break?" But I didn't)

So I am trusting.  Because if I know anything, I know that God is faithful, and He will provide.  (Can I hear that again?  God is faithful and He will provide!) I need to stop playing the what-if game, and really truly count and be thankful for my blessings.  I need to completely and utterly throw myself into trusting God and His merciful plan.


Trust is spelled L-I-S-T-E-N.

Trust is spelled H-I-S---T-I-M-E.

Trust is spelled T-H-Y---W-I-L-L.

Keeping the Sabbath #11

After passing through a challenging week, I am looking forward to a fresh start with today's dawn.  A new opportunity to trust.  A chance to catch up.  A time to breath, pray, & rest.  Keeping the Sabbath holy...means keeping all the days of my week holy. 

1. A Song

2. A Verse
Oh. My. Goodness.  I almost laughed out loud when I read today's first reading.  Because I am in a woe-is-me-drama-queen-mood, I can relate to Job.  I, however, need to stop having a pity party.  That is not the point of this reading.
"Job spoke, saying: Is not man's life on earth a drudgery? Are not his days those of hirelings? He is a slave who longs for the shade, a hireling who waits for his wages. So I have been assigned months of misery, and troubled nights have been allotted to me. If in bed I say, "When shall I arise?" then the night drags on; I am filled with restlessness until the dawn. My days are swifter than a weaver's shuttle; they come to an end without hope. Remember that my life is like the wind; I shall not see happiness again." ~Job 7:1-4, 6-7

3. A Quote

"Seeing the sun, the moon and the stars, I said to myself: 'Who could be the Master of these beautiful things?' And I felt a great desire to see Him, to know Him and to pay Him homage." ~St. Josephine Bakhita

(Did you know that it is her feast day this week?  I love her story, and very much enjoyed watching this movie- despite the fact that it is very long and subtitled. As a slave who fought to have her inherit worth recognized and for the right to practice her faith, I think that her story also has some very pertinent lessons today, based on most of America's view of the worth of a human life and protection of religious freedom. St. Josephine Bakhita, pray for America.)

4.  An Image

Government leaders.  Not much has changed in 2000 years.

5. A Blessing
Remember my challenge last week? It is going remarkably well.  Still tough, but blessed.  (Probably another reason why I identified so well with today's first reading... If in bed I say, "When shall I arise?" then the night drags on; I am filled with restlessness until the dawn. Well said, Job.)

6. A Challenge
To stop worrying about money.  Ugh.  Actually to stop worrying all together. Doesn't that sound nice...

7. An Intention
I am praying for a united front among all people of faith who are willing to challenge the role that Mr. Obama thinks the government can take in the lives of American citizens.  We need to stand up and fight- and by fight, I mean fast and pray.  This battle can only be won at an Altar.  Have you read any of the 153 statements issued by Catholic Bishops from around the country?  They are "calling us to arms" for sure.

Keeping the Sabbath #10

1. A Song

2. A Verse
"And the Lord said to me, 'This was well said. I will raise up for them a prophet like you from among their kin, and will put my words into his mouth; he shall tell them all that I command him.
Whoever will not listen to my words which he speaks in my name, I myself will make him answer for it.'" ~Deuteronomy 18:17-19

3. A Quote
“Let nothing disturb thee; Let nothing dismay thee; All thing pass; God never changes. Patience attains All that it strives for. He who has God finds he lacks nothing: God alone suffices.” ~St. Theresa of Avila


4. An Image

mountains, but not the ones Moses taught from.  these are in Oahu, and God made them too.

5. A Blessing
The voice of truth, spoken through the prophets of ages, just like God promised in today's reading from Deuteronomy.

6. An Intention
I will be praying this week for leadership in all Christian Churches, and especially for all involved in the GIFT program in the Catholic Diocese of Peoria.  We can get too caught up in organization and structure, and lose focus on Christ's mission to be His hands and feet.

7. A Challenge
I am fasting from my snooze button.  No sleeping in.  No "five more minutes." Ugh.  But it is a good challenge, and I am offering it up.

Book Review: A Severe Mercy

In honor of the feast of St. Thomas Aquinas, I will attempt to share with you some literary thoughts on the latest book checked off my to-read-list,  A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken.

A very quick summary:

• Part love story, part conversion journal, part poem, part part grief manual, all rolled into one.
• Traces the story of Sheldon (author) and his wife Davy through their courtship and marriage, Sheldon's service during WWII (and how Davy followed him to the war front), island exploring on a yacht following the war, continuing their education at Oxford, the development of their friendship with C.S. Lewis, their conversion to Christianity, how they served the Kingdom, Davy's strange illness and ultimate death while still in her thirties, and Sheldon's exploration of grief and mercy, all packed into 240 pages!

A few reasons why you should pick up this book:

• Almost half of the book covers their lives before their conversion.  Sheldon refers to he and his wife as "pagans," completely wrapped up in each other with the only goal of soaking up as much beauty in the world as they could.  However, the big ideas that they wrestle with pre-conversion led them to an academic understanding of some very Christian topics, including the fact that with joy comes pain, that all humans yearn for beauty and truth, and that a husband and wife are no longer two individuals upon their marriage, but have become one.  Add to that their line of thought during their conversion, and you have got a great insight into the story of how two very well educated people were led to become Christians.
• Read it for the beautiful, lyrical, poetic language.  The book itself contains over twenty poems by the author, his wife, and friends written during the time of the events in the book.  The romantic description of the people and places and experiences takes your breath away.
• The book contains eighteen letters from C.S. Lewis, chronicling years of he and the Vanauken's friendship.  His wit and wisdom comes through in these personal thoughts that crossed an ocean and can apply to us today.  For example, in a letter that was one of many during the time of Sheldon's struggle to believe in Christ, Lewis concluded with, "But I think you are already in the meshes of the net!  The Holy Spirit is after you.  I doubt if you'll get away!"
• Finally, read it because of Sheldon's take on grief and God's mercy.  Through his pain, he was able to share truths in ways I had never quite heard them put before.

Thanks, RyAnne, for sharing this book with me!

Just Right

Once upon a time...Goldilocks visited Oh-Henry.

She was tired after her journey, and needed a place to sit down and have a cup of tea.

So, she decided to use my couch.  (There are very few good tea places in Oh-Henry.)

She got all settled, and went to adjust the pillow behind her.

And took a closer look...

And decided that it was ugly.

Now, Baby Bear thinks that this pillow is fluffy and perfect to sit on.  Goldilocks thinks that it is sooo 2005.  She wondered what lay beneath the slip cover...and found this monstrosity.

Now, Papa Bear thinks that this pillow is soft, and a good size to put under his head for a nap.  He does not care what color it is.  Goldilocks said that it would just not do.

 So she set to work with some fabric she found in the closet.  (Aren't the pastel pins pretty?)

A few rows of stitches later, she flipped it inside out, covered the peach monstrosity, and whaa laa- I found this beauty on my couch when I got home.  Goldilocks, Mama Bear, and I all agree that this one is better than "just right."

She must have been proud of her efforts, because this one was on the other couch.  Not quite as pretty as the first, but I like it too.

Come to think of it, these pillows look familiar...like something I recently posted.  Maybe Goldilocks reads my blog!  If so, she should become a follower.

I promise that these browns match IRL.  

Goldilocks should visit more often.

Turning a Sow's Ear into a Silk Purse

Ok, so I have to be honest upfront.

There is technically neither a pig nor any silk in this post.

But it is the essence of what I was trying to say, and it sounds better than "Turning What Was Once Crap into Something Creative."

I have been challenging myself to use/re-use/re-purpose more craft materials lately, especially fabric, for a few reasons:

1. Fabric is expensive, and I do not have a money tree in my backyard. 
2. It is a creative challenge, and a little challenge is good for the brain.
3. It is more globally/God-given-resource responsible.

So, we begin with a sad laundry tale.

This used to be a beautiful, long, flowing wrap/scarf.  It used to be about 3 or 4 times this size.  I usually don't have "nice" things, so apparently I did not pay attention to the tag that must have said it was a wool blend.

Fast forward to Hawaiian sand + wrap + strange boy's malfunctioning washing machine = one very shrunk & misshapen chunk of fabric.  It has been waiting to become something new.

I decided to try the Buttercup Bag from this post.  I originally was going to make this post more of a tutorial about that bag, but after cutting out the pattern, I did not follow the directions at all.  Some of them I did in an easier way, some of them I disagreed with, and some of them I just didn't read because I have found that I enjoy sewing more when I can wing it.

 It still felt weird to be cutting apart this scarf.  In my minds eye, I can see it in its former flowing glory, and cutting out chunks seemed wrong.

I added some hefty sized pockets to the lining (using some leftover fabric from another project).  A good bag needs pockets.

 Getting closer: but the whole thing is still inside out.

 And the finished product:

 Cute, huh?  Oh, and here is the back: 

I cut out the flowers specifically in those locations, while still leaving enough room on (what used to be) the scarf for another bag.  The photos don't really do it justice, but the look is very felted-wool-vintage-evening-handbag.


A little reminder that something beautiful, even if we can't see the beauty on the surface, is always of value. "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." ~Matthew 7:6


The intended recipient?  My red-headed sister, who has requested a handmade magic-mary-poppins-camera-bag, which may take me until  2014 to complete.  This is my token of appreciation for her patience in the meantime.

Quit Planning and Go With It

Note: This is a very long post, which might not be very interesting.  However, I am feeling grateful for the evening, and wanted to record the details, more as a reminder for myself of how good God is.  I don't mind if you don't want to read this whole thing :)

Youth Group is always fun, and rarely what I expect.  This week, poor weather was going to keep most of the kids away, so I had mentally resigned the evening a "wash" according to the lesson, and instead an opportunity for some additional fellowship in a smaller group.

However, more kids showed up than expected, so we went ahead with the plans for the evening.  (The kids in attendance sent regular text updates, including pictures, to those stuck at home- I take this as a sign that they are glad to be at Youth Group, especially when the texts are accompanied by phrases like- "Ha! ______ is going to be so jealous that they are not here!" And yes, I know that the grammar of the previous sentence is poor.  What can I say, it came from the mouth of a teenager...)

We completed the T3: Teen Timeline in December, so this semester, I am expanding on it with a theme of "Who Do You Want To Be?"  Each meeting brings a topic (like forgiveness), a figure from the Bible, and a Saint.  This allows us to continue to talk about God's plan of salvation as laid out in T3, but puts more of an application spin on it, focusing on growing into Godly men and women.

Topic this week: Integrity.  People to look to as examples: Ruth and St. Therese.
The lesson is discussion based, using excerpts from the T3 videos as well as the Who Cares About the Saints DVD.  At the end of the night, I send the kids home with a sheet reviewing some of the big concepts, as well as additional things to look up, questions to reflect on, and things to pray for.  I don't kid myself that many of those sheets end up in the trash or under a bed, but I also am an advocate of putting resources in people's hands, even if you don't know when or if they will use them.  If one kid reads one part of a handout and it makes them think, then they are worth giving out.

Here is a link to the sheet I made about integrity, Ruth, and Therese. Feel free to use or pass on.

Then the evening got interesting.  Being that it was Jan. 22nd (the 39th anniversary of Roe vs. Wade), I moved the discussion to how a person of integrity treats everyone with equal respect- the unborn, the elderly, the annoying classmate, the disabled, etc.  I didn't want to beat them over the head with the topic, so had just planned it as a little addendum.  However, they took off with it.  They were all talking over each other, asking intelligent questions, and wanting to know more about the Church's teachings about people with disabilities, about prenatal testing, about "pulling the plug," etc.  So we talked.  Usually the last 30 minutes or more are spent playing a game, and the kids guard that time pretty seriously.  Tonight, no one looked at the clock.

Then, I asked them some questions specifically related to the rights of the unborn.  And I was able to pull out our newest parish resource, of which I am ecstatic about.  Have you seen The Touch of Life Fetal Models?  They are incredible, soft, touchable models of babies at 12, 20, 26, and 30 weeks gestation that are the correct form, size, and weight.  Seeing does not do them justice, you have to hold them.

I pulled these out, and the kids went nuts.  The babies spurred more questions, and comments, and text messages to the home-bound youth group crowd.  They thought they were incredibly cool.  It was so cute how they passed them to each other and held them, like they were real babies.  (I mean, look at how they are even supporting their heads in the picture below!)  They mentioned several times feeling the need to wrap them in a blanket so they wouldn't get cold.  At one point, they decided that it would be great if everyone could carry these around in their pockets and pull them out to start conversations with people about the sanctity of life (we've got some future pro-life advocates here). 

Before I could get too proud, they then realized that the babies DO FIT in your pockets.  So they put the three 12 week babies (the size of your thumb) in one girl's sweatshirt, poking their sweet little heads out, and said she was "carrying" triplets. One of the boys held the 30 week baby and said, "Take a picture!  I'm a dad!"  They then decided that pregnant women should be able to carry real babies like a kangaroo does, and pull them out at different stages of development to show people.  Then they tried it themselves in various hoodie pockets.  And hoods.

And then we stopped having stimulating, theological conversations, and they just had some fun.  And then I kicked them out because there were parents waiting in the parking lot.

Tonight was a good example of why you should not set expectations for a ministry event.  You should pray more than you prepare, and show up ready to go where the Spirit leads.  It was a lesson that I needed to be taught again, because this was all Him working tonight, and not me.

"Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground." ~Psalm 143:10